he Intruder

Sreekumar K

The phone rang for the third time. I knew who it was. Karthika, the librarian at our school. It was not so rare for Karthika to call me, though mostly for official purposes. But the Christmas holidays had begun and the school would be closed for over a week. So, that couldn’t be anything official.

I looked towards the kitchen. Vinaya was busy. A little bit of flirting won’t go bad, I hoped.

“Hello, Karthika! Happy Christmas!”

“Yeah, yeah same to you. I have been trying for some time”
God! Do I have to explain? What could she be calling me for? Sure to be something silly. A malfunctioning oven or wanting to know where to buy a shirt for her man.

“Sorry, I was busy with Niranjan. This year we have decided to celebrate Christmas.”

“O, really? He should be really happy about it. I had called you because I have a problem here and Chithran is not here.”

“O, where is he?”

“Who knows! He left three days ago promising to be here for Christmas. Probably next Christmas. I called you because I got scared.”
“Scared? Scared of what?”

“I think there is a mouse or a rat in our bedroom. First I thought it was in the kitchen. Probably it was. Now, I think it has run into our bedroom, the master bedroom. I closed it. Or it might run everywhere.”

“Wait a minute. Are you sure it is a rat?”

“I don’t know. There may not be anything at all. You know, I am so jittery about these things.”

“I know that. Be careful. It might be a snake or something.”

“No, it is not a snake. What I saw running around was something only as big as this.”

Sure, she is gesturing with her hands.

“Sorry, I mean it was as big as a big frog.” She added.

“Then it could be a frog.”

“No, it isn’t a frog. It was not leaping about.”

“Are you sure you saw something?”

“Now that you ask, I am not even sure of that. Let me open the door and go into the bedroom.”

I had never seen her home. I was left to imagine what it would be like. Just like her mind, I hoped. If it is like her mind, then it is beyond anyone’s imagination. She is a real scatterbrain, trying to do a hundred different things, all with such perfection.

At the library, nobody complimented her for anything. It was their way of responding to her being very cold towards them. But the visitors profusely complimented her and they say she never thanked them even once.

The library was always neat and tidy. No dust or torn papers lying around. Portraits of great writers, her own work, adorned the walls. Posters on the best books in there displaying the comments of the kids who had read it could be seen near each shelf. The library was a very attractive spot in our school. It inspired the kids to read and also to write. She had set a corner for the budding writers and she herself could be seen writing poems there.

“OK, I am inside. There is surely something in here. A very slight noise, but I am sure it is there. Let me move the cot a little. Don’t cut the call. I am so scared. You know what? Even Chithran is so scared of these things. We live near this bog, know? Several times these things had dropped in uninvited. My driver was helpful then.”

I remember her driver. An old affectionate man. He passed away a year  ago.

I looked around. Niranjan was pruning the Christmas tree. He was carefully taking things off and putting them back. Then standing away to see if it looked good.

Vinaya was still in the kitchen dressing the chicken. At any time now, she might call me to help her chop it to pieces. Or at least to sharpen the knife.

“Yesssss. It is a rat. Big one, but so very cute. Looks like Aurangazebe to me.”

“O, you have seen him too? Is there anyone you haven’t met yet?”

“Yes, the angel of death. Came close to him several times but he slipped away. I will catch him one of these days. You wait!”

“Hope I will be around then.”
“Yes, sure you will be around, still teaching in our school. Ah, got him. He is staring at me as if I am the intruder. Hey, go and come back next Saturday. Shhh, go, go.”

“Are you focusing your torch on him. He might be dazed.”

“What torch? The one you gave me for my birthday. It broke long ago and Chithran took it to some repair shop and he can’t remember which shop it is!”

“Take a broom or something and hit it. It won’t get hurt. And I know you will be soft on it too.”

“What do you mean? I am going to take a jackhammer and beat it to pulp and then scoop it on to my canvas, let it dry and varnish and frame it for my drawing-room. Will it smell?”

“Once it is dead it can’t smell. It might stink though.”

“Where is your darling wife?”

“I don’t know where my darling wife is. The not-so darling one is in the kitchen.”

“Busy with the turkey?”

“No, we could not find one. Managed with a big bad rooster.”
“Yes, it has started running. It should be blind or it might have jumped on the table and screamed at me. God, how I look!”

“Yes, how do you look? What are you wearing?”

“It has gone under the cupboard. Now I have to move the cupboard. Don’t cut the call. I am putting down the phone for a minute. I am moving the cupboard.”

I sat down on the sofa. I knew it might go for some time. I didn’t even think there was a lizard in her room and I don’t think she was imagining anything. She might be coolly sitting there with a cup of cornflakes soaked in soya milk, her favourite breakfast. What time was it, I looked at the clock. It was half-past eleven.

“Yes, I have moved the cupboard. He is slowly moving along the wall.”

“Chase it out of the room. Once in the open, it will run away. Do you have a cat? Yes, I remember, you have one. You had written about it too.”
“Cat? I don’t keep one now. I had one and it is long dead. It never chased rats though. If you are busy you may cut the call. I think I am safe now. It has gone to the veranda.”

“OK, OK, see it doesn’t go back into the kitchen.”
“No, no I closed it. It is just slowly moving up and down in the veranda. I will sit here watching it. Are you going somewhere for the holidays?”
“No, some of my friends are coming from Bhopal. An ex-colleague and her family. A yoga teacher.”

“Then run a crash course with her. I will come.”

“Mmmm. Let me think of that!”

“I know you won’t even think about it.”
“Then why did you suggest!”
“Ok, the rat is walking down the steps and is disappearing. I am totally safe now.”

“How is your Christmas?”
“Nothing. Will just visit a church. And then my parents. If Chithran comes back tomorrow, we may go for a movie. Are there any good ones in town?”
“I don’t know.”

“OK, go ahead with your work. Be with Niranjan. I can hear him calling you. So sweet!”

She cut the call and I looked at my phone to confirm it.

I walked towards Niranjan.

“Who was it, dad?”
“O, that was Santa Claus calling to ask what you would like to have this Christmas.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“I told him you would like to have two pairs of teeth for your upper jaw."
He hugged me and laughed, laughed so much that Vinaya came out still holding the blunt knife in her right hand and the wing of the rooster in the other.